In my view, the danger of being single for a long time is becoming more and more stubborn. You might get set in your own ways and assume you know everything already, or come up with an idealized story regarding why being single forever is certainly better than being in a relationship. Frankly, being single and being in a relationship are equal human experiences – I wouldn’t say one status is definitely better than the other status. This blog post’s honest advice for single men looking for Slavic women is not to cling to a narrative that isn’t true anymore. Let me explain.
- Don’t rationalize any situation and then strongly cling to a narrative that is no longer true in your reality.
Strong opinions, loosely held.
Indeed, you would be well-advised to be willing to let go of an opinion that doesn’t serve you anymore.
Perhaps being single is currently working for you very well and is absolutely great. Yet life clearly goes through phases, so it doesn’t really have to be all-or-nothing!
For example, some beliefs that make you single right now might not even be true in the future:
- “I can’t find a woman who truly understands me.” – That can be true during one phase of your life. Nevertheless, finding the person who really gets you takes a lot of time and it’s obviously worth being open to people as well as what can happen, for life works in unexpected ways & you are supposed to be ready when the right woman walks into your world.
- “I’m too busy to start a relationship.” – Everyone has a busy phase in life. Nonetheless, if you focus on your career, hobbies, or social circle, you can actually meet someone who wants to support your goals in life.
- “I’m much happier alone than I’m dating someone.” – That is true in lots of single guys’ reality. Having said that, some people have adopted this belief after a few painful relationships. In fact, the right woman would make you happy and satisfied in a way that you can’t even believe.
People can be happy single; people can also be happy in long-term relationships. Both statuses can work for a lot of people. But please don’t cling too hard to one belief and use this belief to justify everything you do. Some couples rationalize why they should stay married, even though their relationships are really stressful.
Yes, the philosophy that you followed in the past could turn out to be wrong for who you are right now. What’s right for you yesterday could be wrong for you tomorrow.
No matter which road you choose, please choose it for the right reasons, because if you choose something for the wrong reasons, the outcome won’t be great.
- How to handle dating anxiety:
Honestly, I had anxiety for a long time. Before I started to write this blog post, I looked at my old phone which had some notes from a few years ago. According to those very powerful notes, the best way to handle anxiety is to change my mood. Please let me explain.
In order to change your mind, you need to change your mood first. That means trying to use logic to convince yourself is oftentimes harder to do, but trying to change your mindset through changing your mood is significantly easier, more practical, and much more effective.
If you have dating anxiety, I’d like you to work on your self-esteem. This doesn’t mean you need to read 100 books about self-esteem (of course, that can help, too). In truth, that means you’d better find ways to be happy first. Ask yourself, “What makes me happy?” And then do exactly that! 😊
Next, you can have an alter ego. Do you have someone that you admire? Perhaps you admire an author, an athlete, or a pop star. Whom you admire doesn’t really matter; what truly matters is having an alter ego that works for you. For instance, Rory admires Ed Mylett, so when he feels anxious before each date, he imagines that he is Ed Mylett, the powerful and confident alpha male! And it works every single time!
“Dating Slavic women is many single men’s dream. Make yours come true!”